allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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