I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
