apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
