Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
