glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
