Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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