lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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