If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
