pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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