i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
