He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
