Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
