Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
