Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I think people are normalizing furries
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
