I want to make a zoo with you.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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