Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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