watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
