I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
