I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
