glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
