That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
