I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Tornado booty call.. dedication
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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