hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
