i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
