Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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