i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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