if i died would you start the facebook group?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
