in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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