where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
