i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
