the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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