a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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