Non-Jews are for practice
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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