I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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