He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
