I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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