Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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