Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
