just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
MIDGETS
????
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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