currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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