Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
