who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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