Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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