we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
