Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
