I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
