Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
