No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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