it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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