I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
