just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
